date your man!

i am a firm believer that you need to purposely date your spouse.  most people believe this, but not all make it a priority.  i know when we have kids it will be a lot harder to make time for this, but it is sooooo important.  lately, our date nights consist of some form of dinner and a movie ... out for dinner, in for a movie or vice versa.  i wanted to spice it up and little and do something fun but we had just bought a house so any extra funds were spoken for.  so, i decided we would "go camping" ... in our spare bedroom. 

one of the best parts of our new digs is the space we have.  there are two rooms that are pretty much empty.  but before we load the spare room up with my craft supplies, sewing machine and guest bed, i decided to have a little fun in the space and use it for a date night.

the rules are:  no tv (the computer was for the camp fire video) and that we must stay in the room all night as if we were out in the wilderness (with the exception of letting the pups out to do their business). 

obviously, i did not have to wash my hair for this date :)

 see, fun and romantical!!!

any other great (and inexpensive) date night ideas that you guys have successfully pulled off? 

what vs. why

hey ladies and gents!  i am excited to introduce to you my preacher, foauxhawk rockin, coffee making, fellow blogger, and beer lovin friend, aj.  if you are a long time reader, you may recognize him from the trash the dress photo shoot we did a few years ago.  and for all you grammar geeks out there, you are really in for a treat because he cares about things like spelling and punctuation :)  enjoy!

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Hello, friends of Elizabeth! My name is A.J. and, like Elizabeth, I like to write. I enjoy writing about things that are important to me, like coffee, beer, my wife, faith, and community. Today, Elizabeth and I are blog swapping! Head on over to my blog to read what she's writing about today!

One of my favorite things I get to do is pre-marital counseling. Don't get me wrong…I enjoy officiating the ceremony of a wedding, but I won't do the ceremony part if I can't do the pre-marital part.

After doing wedding photography with my wife for the past six and a half years I've learned a lot of things about weddings. Things like; moms are usually the cause of stress at a wedding…not the bride (though there are exceptions to every rule), the groom is usually the more traditional one as opposed to the bride (which really caught me off guard), and last, but not least, most weddings are not what the bride and groom hoped for, but more often than not, one of their parents are to blame (especially when they are paying for it).

Anyway, the reason I require any couple whose wedding I'm going to officiate to walk through some pre-marital counseling with my wife and I is because of this simple fact: the vast majority of people who get married spend more time, money, energy and resources on the wedding ceremony, as opposed to the marriage.

This reality is something that I will drive home over and over again: the wedding is just an event, it's important to be sure, but it is simply an event. It's an event to celebrate what comes next; the relationship. And if you've worked more on the event as opposed to the relationship then there's a good chance it's going to get rocky. 

One example of the sort of things we talk about during these sessions is dating. Things like, how often will they date, what does a date look like, etc… What I find incredibly interesting during questions like these is how men and women usually respond differently. 

Most of the time they are saying the same thing, but they just word it differently. Which, automatically makes them assume that they answered differently, but really it's just a verbiage issue.

Dating is a really big deal when it comes to a relationship. If you don't actually focus on dating each other you will eventually just turn into really cool roommates. Dating is what keeps the relationship focused on what's important…each other.

A common misconception in dating while married is that it has to be extravagant. False. Some of the most fun and meaningful dates that Cynthia and I have had involved Ramen noodles and a movie we've seen 4 billion times (I may be exaggerating).

When it comes to marital dating remember this: it's not about the what…it's about the why.

Are you dating your spouse to check it off a list? Are you going out because you just don't feel like making dinner and you like the Pad Thai that place serves?

OR

Do you want to take time for what's important to you? Do you really want to spend time with the person you love in order to continue getting to know them better? Do you truly desire to keep your relationship the most important thing in your life, so you're willing to make time for it?

Dating in marriage isn't so much about what you do, where you go, how much you spend, or even how long the date lasts, rather, it's about investing more time in the relationship as opposed to anything else in your life. It's about the why.

That's what successful marriages are made of and that's one of the things I hope to see in the couples I get to marry.

34 weeks pregnancy update

update:

• 34 weeks = 8.5 months
• as of tomorrow, only 5 more weeks (35 days) from my due date
• mister should be around 4.25 lbs and 18 inches long
• no changes in his movement from last week.  on friday night, husband really got to feel him moving around when we stayed up watching a movie. 
• my movement:  not a lot of change here either.  
• sleep:  also, about the same as last week.  
• energy level:  i have seen a lot of change this week in energy.  by about 10 am and then again at 2pm, im ready for a nap.  this is fine except for the fact that im at work and siestas are frowned upon. 
• nursery:  on sunday, i dropped the fabric for the rocker off to my mom's cousin.  she is recovering the cushions and im stoked to see how they turn out.  last night, i played around with our awesome baby monitor and i think i will have to rearrange the room a little to make sure the camera can see into the crib well.  after thats all set, i will start putting together the collage wall.  i was at the flea market on saturday and i found a really great piece to use as a shelf and photo display.  i am waiting for something i ordered from etsy to come in and only need a few more picture frames.  the wall is really coming together in my mind ... lets just hope it doesnt look rediculous when i put it up. 
• belly button:  in
• stretch marks:  none
• we went to tour the hospital on tuesday night.  the staff and rooms seem great.  there was something oddly comforting about being in a room with a bunch of people going thru almost the exact same thing as you.  all the women in our group looked to be in their 3rd trimester and if i had to guess, i would say that maybe only one other couple already has a kid. 
• i finally signed us up for a birthing class.  it was too late to get us into one at the hospital and i had a hard time finding a local place that didnt seem to have an agenda.  unfortunately, its only 2 weeks before our due date so i have to make sure we wont loose all our money if i go into labor before we make it to the class :)

nursery sneak peek

date night

last night, husband and i parked off of fayetteville street in downtown raleigh.  we walked around a bit and decided to dine at sitti.  we split the appetizer sampler while people watching thru the front windows.   afterwards, we stopped by fountain for dessert ... aka a glass of bourbon.

we walked around our city holding hands and laughing, just like you see in the movies.  it was absolutely delightful.  after stopping by harris teeter to pick up some chunky monkey and a redbox, we cuddled in bed to watch percy jackson & the olympians: the lightning thief.  *sigh* what a great night!

the pic above was taken on another date night with my friend tara.  we sat at boylan bridge and munched on onion rings until the sun set.  husband and i love to go there too because the patio is dog friendly.  there are always a lot of well behaved pups out there ... and then there is mailey :)

ps - i heart you raleigh!

i gots the sushi blues

husband and i had a date night tonight.  headed out to downtown raleigh for some sushi for two.  

and this is what i was wearing: 

sweater: dkny (belk $14)

shirt: old navy 

shorts: diy

tights ... now leggings: santa

socks: target

boots:  dsw

husband decided he wanted to jump into my shot and strike a pose.  

my favorite part of this date night is that we were home by 7:00 pm  :)

stop, pumpkin time!

our most recent date night consisted of staying in, ordering a pizza from lilly's and carving pumpkins.

the finished product!  

what a perfect date night.  we were able to enjoy each others company, not spent too much money AND get a feeling of accomplishment.  we set the jack-o-lanterns out on the porch and took mailey to do her business.  this way we were able to see how awesome they looked to random people that just happen to walk by the house.  

---------------------------------

side note:  last night i noticed that some animal has been chewing on my pumpkin ... what the devil!!!!  it has a huge chunk missing in the back and part of the circle has been nibbled on.  if i want this thing to last until next sunday night, i may have to bring it in doors for protection.  

husband vs. wife questionnaire

i saw this on sitting in a tree and thought it would be fun.  

note: my answers are orange, husband's are green and any notes with be {in brackets}.

1. How long have you been married?
5 years and 5 months
5.2 yrs

2. Where was your first date?
as a couple?  42nd street oyster bar  
Went to the fair together somewhere around 1995 or 96. Or 42nd St Oyster bar in 2006

3. Where was your first kiss? 
at the wayne county fair on the ferris wheel
Wayne co fair grounds, I think. Or it could have been inside of a plastic tube slide maze thingy at this fun house place in middle school. Razmataz or some jive. 


4. Who first said, "I love you"?
husband
Probably her. She chased me for years. 
{this is funny because husband tried to make me fall in love with him for 7 years until i caved.  im so glad he was persistent!}

5. What were your wedding colors?
coral, turquoise and navy
Coral colors?  I was looking at her. Nothing else.

6. What is her most commonly used phrase? 
"cool beans"
Cool beans

7. Who is her celebrity crush? 
it used to be wilmer valderram but i dont really have one right now
Use to be fes from that 70s show , now it might be Zoey deschanel. 

8. If she was ordering drinks for both of you what would you each get?   
i would order a porter beer (preferably a local brew) and would get husband and grey goose martini, extra dirty. 
Do we have a driver? I honestly can't say, her mood would determine that. A Dark porter, a Shiraz, a jegar bomb. Not in that order. 


9. What is the best meal she has ever cooked you?   
he really likes my spaghetti 
I really liked the beef brisket meal she made last week. She cooks a lot of yummy dishes though. 

10. What is the worst meal she has ever cooked you?  
that time i didnt cook the chicken all the way thru and he is not a fan of the tofu
I'll eat anything... Twice. 

11. What is the most-played song on her iPod?
mumford & sons cd
cherry blossoms probably. Henry falls asleep when she sings it. 


12. What would she say is your most annoying habit?
finishing my sentences but it be wrong
I make too much money, and I finish her sentences... Incorrectly. 

13.  What is the last thing she does before she goes to bed?  
kiss my husband
Asks me if there is anything she can pray for me about. 

14.  If you could throw out one item of her clothing what would it be?  
my jackets that pile up on the back of the sofa
They are all pilled together, you would never be able to pick up just one. 

15. What would you say is your favorite thing about her?
boobies

She has a great personality? No, right now it is how wonderful of a mother she is. 

16. What's her go-to drink at Starbucks? 
chai tea latte or the pike roast
Coffee

17. What's her blog's name?
best.day.ever.
best.day.ever,  I.think.

note from husband:  "Ps I typed all this with my thumb on my phone while the other arm is asleep bc h us passed out on me. My hand hurts and I'm hungry. Aint nobody got time for that"

photos by christine hall

cutting back

there are many things i could write to talk about my spending habits, about what they should and shouldn't be.  what i want to talk about in this post is small sacrifices that add up.  we live a pretty modest lifestyle.  we dont have a lot of debt, we dont make a lot of big purchases, we havent had cable for almost 6 years, etc. in fact most of money goes to general monthly expenses, giving, experiences (day at the pool, date night, museum, pedicure) and food purchases.  

that being said, we are about to have two children which is going to make a difference in the way we spend money.  for a while we will have two kids in diapers which can cost a lot but our biggest expense will be childcare. although i feel like we have found a great solution/bang for our buck, it will still be our largest monthly cost, period.  

below are some changes i have made this month that i think really add up.  there might be a few i cant pull off or choose not to follow through with permanently but i think its a good start (note: i am well aware that i should have started this months ago so cut me some slack).  

1. starbucks - or as dave ramsey likes to call it "five bucks."  in may and june, our account reflects 12 starbucks visits, each of them being $2 to $8.  what i cannot track is the 9 times we might have stopped at the gas station to purchase one of those $3 starbucks frappuccino drinks. also, i think that the starbucks in target show up on your account as a target purchase so its hard to track those as well.  so far, july shows one starbucks purchase which was a meeting with a possible nanny.  i feel like i may have saved well over $50 this month on coffee purchases. 
2. target - lets just keep it real here.  i can spend at least $75 every time i walk into target.  and of course i "need" it all.  one of the places i hate most in this world is walmart.  the main difference here is that i will do anything to get out of walmart as quickly as possible ... that includes sticking to my list.  on the other hand, target is this wonderful place that i just love to be.  i used to take henry there on the way home just because i "needed" milk or whatever.  of course, i would stop by the starbucks and get me an iced coffee to enjoy while leisurely pushing an entertained henry down every isle.  the conclusion of this story is $80 to $120, every time.  so far i have only been to target once this month.  the total was less than $50 and we purchased mostly target brand diapers (which are kind of awesome).  i do not plan on needing to return before the month is out.  i may have saved us up to one million dollars this month by staying as far away from target as possible.
3. groceries - this is by far the saddest cutback i have made.  ever since i
   
   made the switch over to healthier foods with cleaner ingredients we spend quite a bit more on groceries.  i strongly believe that this is an investment in our health and overall well being.  i also believe that it is possible to purchase healthier, cleaner foods without spending an arm and a leg but it will require planning and effort that i am lacking right now.  this month, i have been getting our groceries from walmart which ends up with much more processed foods and junk food than i would like.  also, i have to say their produce has been disappointing.  it either lacks flavor or doesnt seem to last quite as long as it should.  the good thing is that i know i can fix this by finding other places to get better quality food without having to go to whole foods (aka one of my favorite places ever besides target). but right now, i am lacking the energy to make several stops a week with a toddler, 8.5 months pregnant so walmart it is.  
4. beauty products/services - im thinking about growing my hair out.  its well past the time for a trim so i think ill save my money and wait out the ugly stage while on maternity leave.  i mean, if im going to grow it out, it may as well be while im taking prenatal vitamins, right.  this will not only save money on the cut every 6 weeks but i will also save money on products.  since getting my hair cut short, i have been using good shampoo, root lifter, and hairspray everyday.  this stuff adds up.  i am sure i could find cheaper versions of these products but to be honest i havent found that they give me the same results.  so, i have decided to go back to the no poo method.  i tried this in february of 2013 and i didnt hate it so im giving it another go.  mainly, i ran out of shampoo this past weekend and i didnt feel like forking over $8 for another bottle.  as my
   
   hair gets longer, i wont need to use other products either.  when its long, my hair looks the same with or without root lifter and hairspray.  its basically flat and boring but maybe i will be inspired and find some great ways to wear it.  if not, i know a great hairstyle so i will just chop it off again, no harm done.  something else i ran out of a couple of weeks ago was my face lotion.  its not super nice or anything but i didnt feel like spending $7 for a new bottle at target (see above) when i have a perfectly good jar of coconut oil.  that stuff is awesome and it is a great moistener for your face and neck ... well basically your whole body.  i have oily skin and yet it rubs in well and doesnt leave me too oily.  coconut oil has replaced a lot of my everyday beauty products.  at one point i started a post about it but then i realized every blogger in the world has done a post about coconut oil so i thought i would spare you.  the last thing that falls under this category is the fact that i have not gotten a pedicure in a while and i plan on doing my own as soon as i can reach my own feet easily.  pedicures are a luxury that i am willing to forgo for now.
5. general awareness - aka, common freaking sense.  our office complex has amazing food trucks that come to a parking lot nearby.  i used to watch the schedule like a hawk and plan my whole week around these $8 to $12 meals.  the worst part is that those meals are worth every penny and mamma loves to eat :)  for july, i have sworn off these purchases.  besides a milkshake or two (paid for with leftover birthday cash) i have not purchased anything to eat for lunch and actually ate what i packed.  i know peanut butter sandwiches and cheese nips are not the most delicious and nutritious lunches but i have easily saved $50.  another thing that seems like common sense but i dont always follow is to stay off sites like pinterest and etsy.  these sites tend to make me want stuff.  even DIY projects can add up.  basically, the goal is to be content in what i have for now and concentrate on things we really need to prepare for sister.  
6. communication - husband and i have always been pretty good at this.  i guess we tell each other about most purchases over $50 that isnt groceries or gas or surprises.  we communicate a lot about money but mostly i just let him pay all the bills and then he will let me know if i need to stop spending.  for the past couple of weeks we have been communicating a lot about spending and how to save and i check the account before my wonderful trips to walmart.  this helps with the "general awareness."
7. budgeting - we have kept track of our spending over the past few months and husband always tracks our main monthly expenses.  i guess our next big step is to create a good budget and stick with it.  i think it will help out a lot with planning and saving and just keeping things as stress free as possible. 

.... and we made it.  i was able to get through the month without a weekly starbucks purchase.  who would have known, right!  i think we might celebrate tonight with some chinese takeout :)

how do you cut back when you need to?  any small changes that make a big difference in your monthly budget?  

veintisiete & veintiocho

for church

tee:  husband's

vest:  charlotte rouse

bracelets:  target

jeans:  calvin klein

flats:  american eagle

for date night

dress: h&m $10

belt:  kohls

leggings:  walmart

heels:  kohls

Time Out

Our preacher challenged the congregation to go on a social media fast. The goal is to not be distracted and to rest. I will be signing off of blogger, Facebook and twitter for the next seven days.

I leave you with this cool picture I took of husband on Saturday. Its from our mini date at the art museum.

high 5 for insta-friday

today im linking up with lauren, jeanette, and rachel to share the little things from this past week that makes my heart smile.

ONE:  
i love to remind husband how he says he "doesnt have a sweet tooth" when i find him like this :)

TWO: 
after our last baby shower, its now time to buckle down and find a place for everything we have received.  we are so blessed ... we wont have to buy diapers or clothes for a while!

THREE:  
twice this week husband has been able to meet me for lunch.  after 5 years of marriage, he still opens my car door for me.  i seriously heart this dude!   

FOUR:
i was able to meet up with kristin from the art of being silly on wednesday night for coffee.  it was fun getting to know another local blogger in real life :)  

also, we met right around the corner from a.c. moore, so i slipped in to grab a few art supplies for a nursery project im working on.  

FIVE:
its official!  i have made it thru 35 weeks of pregnancy.  i only have 4 more weeks until my due date and im getting very anxious to meet mister!!! 

have a great weekend!!!!

35 week pregnancy update

update:

• 35 weeks = 8.75 months
• 29 days until my due date ... as of tomorrow, i only have 4 weeks left.  what the what!  
• mister should be about the size of a honeydew melon, measuring up to 18 inches long and weighing in over 5 lbs.  however, i look like i have something much larger then a honeydew in my belly. 
• mister movement: things are getting a little crowded in the ole' uterus so the movements havent been as large as they were, but just as often. 
• my movement: in a word "elegant" or maybe even "graceful" LOL!  ok, i just pulling your leg that feel asleep.  whats that?  your legs arent falling asleep every 30 minutes ... maybe its just me.  HA!  lets just say that i have felt quite large and awkward these past few days.  and yes, i know, its only going to get worse. 
• sleep:  waking a few more times during the night this week and finding it a little harder to get back to sleep.
• comfort: well, i finally went bra shopping.  i was able to find a nursing bra that seems to fit pretty well.  if anyone else is having a hard time, i decided to go with the brovado brand (thanks for the suggestion kristi).  
• energy level:  about the same as last week. 
• belly button:  in
• stretch marks:  none
• birthing class:  i signed up last friday and went by to pay and pick up any materials needed for the class.  since we will be doing the 1 day class, we have several videos to watch before we go.  i have only gotten through the first two and have learned a lot and i think husband is getting a lot out of them as well.  so, the videos alone have been worth the effort and cost of the birthing class.  im not sure i would have put this much effort into it if i had not heard such great things from my readers.  thanks ladies!  
• nursery:  i finally have my area rug and i started putting together the collage wall.  i plan on organizing a lot this weekend and find a proper place for things instead of shoving it up on the closet shelves.  i think i will wait to do a nursery reveal post instead of showing any more random pictures ... so stay tuned!
• other: i had a doctor's appointment this morning and everything seems to be right on track.  from here on out, i will see them once a week. 
• also:  we had our final baby shower last saturday afternoon.  my aunts hosted it at my mom's house.  it was really great to have a bunch of family friends i havent seen in a while.  i know i have mentioned it on here before, but we have just been overwhelmed with generosity, love and support from everyone.  

here are a few photos from the shower on saturday. 

high five for friday

linking up with lauren to share my five favorite things from this past week:

1)  my first harvest.  so its a little small but so is my garden.  while my tomato plant is not too happy with me, my peppers are ripe for the picking.  

2)  husband and i went to a dinner party saturday night.  good food + good company = a pretty great night. 

3)  spending a weekend with these two makes for a very good weekend!  we stayed up til 2:30am on friday night playing catchphrase, had a great lunch outside on saturday.  after church on sunday, we were able to introduce them to two of my favorite things ever ... our church family and beasley's chicken and honey. 

4)  mailey was able to feel her little brother for the first time the other night. she laid there for about 20 minutes getting kicked in the face and wagging her tail.  

5)  date night with tara!!!  we met up at nofo to look around their cute little shop and then headed to hayes barton cafe for a salad and dessert.  they serve slices of cake the size of toddlers.  

have a great weekend!

joan's heart giveaway

i am excited to announce this month's sponsor, joan's heart.  

they provide beautifully designed paper printables for celebrations such as save the date, birth announcements, bridal shower and baby shower invitations, thank you cards and so much more.  

the giveaway winner will receive one of the following printable party packages, free:

• bride to bee: bridal shower printables
• princess party printable package
• little man birthday party package
• beau or bow: gender reveal party package

in addition to this giveaway, joan's heart is offering 20% off to my readers.  

just enter the coupon code "BDE20" at checkout. 

to enter:

1. you must be a follower of best.day.ever.
2. you must visit joan's heart etsy shop
3. leave a comment below letting me know which printable package you would choose

for additional entries, leave a separate comment for each of the following:

• follow best.day.ever. on twitter
• follow joan's heart on twitter
• follow joan's heart on facebook

i will announce the winner next monday, the 17th. 

good luck!!!