cutting back

there are many things i could write to talk about my spending habits, about what they should and shouldn't be.  what i want to talk about in this post is small sacrifices that add up.  we live a pretty modest lifestyle.  we dont have a lot of debt, we dont make a lot of big purchases, we havent had cable for almost 6 years, etc. in fact most of money goes to general monthly expenses, giving, experiences (day at the pool, date night, museum, pedicure) and food purchases.  

that being said, we are about to have two children which is going to make a difference in the way we spend money.  for a while we will have two kids in diapers which can cost a lot but our biggest expense will be childcare. although i feel like we have found a great solution/bang for our buck, it will still be our largest monthly cost, period.  

below are some changes i have made this month that i think really add up.  there might be a few i cant pull off or choose not to follow through with permanently but i think its a good start (note: i am well aware that i should have started this months ago so cut me some slack).  

1. starbucks - or as dave ramsey likes to call it "five bucks."  in may and june, our account reflects 12 starbucks visits, each of them being $2 to $8.  what i cannot track is the 9 times we might have stopped at the gas station to purchase one of those $3 starbucks frappuccino drinks. also, i think that the starbucks in target show up on your account as a target purchase so its hard to track those as well.  so far, july shows one starbucks purchase which was a meeting with a possible nanny.  i feel like i may have saved well over $50 this month on coffee purchases. 
2. target - lets just keep it real here.  i can spend at least $75 every time i walk into target.  and of course i "need" it all.  one of the places i hate most in this world is walmart.  the main difference here is that i will do anything to get out of walmart as quickly as possible ... that includes sticking to my list.  on the other hand, target is this wonderful place that i just love to be.  i used to take henry there on the way home just because i "needed" milk or whatever.  of course, i would stop by the starbucks and get me an iced coffee to enjoy while leisurely pushing an entertained henry down every isle.  the conclusion of this story is $80 to $120, every time.  so far i have only been to target once this month.  the total was less than $50 and we purchased mostly target brand diapers (which are kind of awesome).  i do not plan on needing to return before the month is out.  i may have saved us up to one million dollars this month by staying as far away from target as possible.
3. groceries - this is by far the saddest cutback i have made.  ever since i
   
   made the switch over to healthier foods with cleaner ingredients we spend quite a bit more on groceries.  i strongly believe that this is an investment in our health and overall well being.  i also believe that it is possible to purchase healthier, cleaner foods without spending an arm and a leg but it will require planning and effort that i am lacking right now.  this month, i have been getting our groceries from walmart which ends up with much more processed foods and junk food than i would like.  also, i have to say their produce has been disappointing.  it either lacks flavor or doesnt seem to last quite as long as it should.  the good thing is that i know i can fix this by finding other places to get better quality food without having to go to whole foods (aka one of my favorite places ever besides target). but right now, i am lacking the energy to make several stops a week with a toddler, 8.5 months pregnant so walmart it is.  
4. beauty products/services - im thinking about growing my hair out.  its well past the time for a trim so i think ill save my money and wait out the ugly stage while on maternity leave.  i mean, if im going to grow it out, it may as well be while im taking prenatal vitamins, right.  this will not only save money on the cut every 6 weeks but i will also save money on products.  since getting my hair cut short, i have been using good shampoo, root lifter, and hairspray everyday.  this stuff adds up.  i am sure i could find cheaper versions of these products but to be honest i havent found that they give me the same results.  so, i have decided to go back to the no poo method.  i tried this in february of 2013 and i didnt hate it so im giving it another go.  mainly, i ran out of shampoo this past weekend and i didnt feel like forking over $8 for another bottle.  as my
   
   hair gets longer, i wont need to use other products either.  when its long, my hair looks the same with or without root lifter and hairspray.  its basically flat and boring but maybe i will be inspired and find some great ways to wear it.  if not, i know a great hairstyle so i will just chop it off again, no harm done.  something else i ran out of a couple of weeks ago was my face lotion.  its not super nice or anything but i didnt feel like spending $7 for a new bottle at target (see above) when i have a perfectly good jar of coconut oil.  that stuff is awesome and it is a great moistener for your face and neck ... well basically your whole body.  i have oily skin and yet it rubs in well and doesnt leave me too oily.  coconut oil has replaced a lot of my everyday beauty products.  at one point i started a post about it but then i realized every blogger in the world has done a post about coconut oil so i thought i would spare you.  the last thing that falls under this category is the fact that i have not gotten a pedicure in a while and i plan on doing my own as soon as i can reach my own feet easily.  pedicures are a luxury that i am willing to forgo for now.
5. general awareness - aka, common freaking sense.  our office complex has amazing food trucks that come to a parking lot nearby.  i used to watch the schedule like a hawk and plan my whole week around these $8 to $12 meals.  the worst part is that those meals are worth every penny and mamma loves to eat :)  for july, i have sworn off these purchases.  besides a milkshake or two (paid for with leftover birthday cash) i have not purchased anything to eat for lunch and actually ate what i packed.  i know peanut butter sandwiches and cheese nips are not the most delicious and nutritious lunches but i have easily saved $50.  another thing that seems like common sense but i dont always follow is to stay off sites like pinterest and etsy.  these sites tend to make me want stuff.  even DIY projects can add up.  basically, the goal is to be content in what i have for now and concentrate on things we really need to prepare for sister.  
6. communication - husband and i have always been pretty good at this.  i guess we tell each other about most purchases over $50 that isnt groceries or gas or surprises.  we communicate a lot about money but mostly i just let him pay all the bills and then he will let me know if i need to stop spending.  for the past couple of weeks we have been communicating a lot about spending and how to save and i check the account before my wonderful trips to walmart.  this helps with the "general awareness."
7. budgeting - we have kept track of our spending over the past few months and husband always tracks our main monthly expenses.  i guess our next big step is to create a good budget and stick with it.  i think it will help out a lot with planning and saving and just keeping things as stress free as possible. 

.... and we made it.  i was able to get through the month without a weekly starbucks purchase.  who would have known, right!  i think we might celebrate tonight with some chinese takeout :)

how do you cut back when you need to?  any small changes that make a big difference in your monthly budget?  

wise wednesday

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high five for insta-friday

i'm linking up with lauren and jeannett to share five things that made this week awesome

ONE:  i finally made it out to the art museum on friday night to watch a movie on the lawn.  raleigh offers so much and i rarely take advantage of it.  i took this photo in the parking lot while i was waiting for my friend.  it was such beautiful night to sit outside.  

TWO:  my parents were leaving for vacation and klaus needed to go to the vet.  so saturday we packed up the family and headed to my hometown.  on the way back to raleigh, husband insisted that klaus would be more comfortable if he was able to walk around instead of being in a crate (that cat is spoiled rotten).  as soon as we let him out, he jumped up in henry's lap and stayed there most of the drive.  i had to pull him up front when henry started to give him a "hug" which kind of turned into a loving strangle.  we are lucky we have such a patient kitty!!! 

THREE:  i cant hate on the fact that klaus is spoiled because i know that husband spoils me too.  since we found out that i was pregnant, i get an average of 6 foot rubs a week.  i mean, my husband is the bomb.  lately he has been teaching henry that he can rub on my feet too and "show mamma that he loves her."  

FOUR:  the week was starting to feel like it would never end and then i got this sweet pic from our sitter.  it made my day!  

FIVE:  watching someone you love really enjoy food you made for them.  

have a great weekend!!!

pregnancy update: 37 weeks

pregnancy update: 

• currently 37 weeks pregnant = 9.25 months
• sister should be about the size of a winter watermelon, right around 6 1/3 lbs and 19 inches long.   
• weight gained so far: about 35 lbs
• movement:  lots of hiccups lately
• food cravings:  maybe more sweet stuff.  almost every night this week i have had a swiss cake roll and a glass of milk.
• sleep:  not too bad.  if i get too uncomfortable i can take a tylenol pm.  however, i found out yesterday that i have been snoring like crazy so poor husband hasnt been getting as much sleep.  
• comfort:  this has been a big change in the last week.  i cant seem to get comfortable.  i am about ready to burn my bras and i cannot get up or down without letting out a grunt.  
• heartburn:  it got bad once this week but other then that, its fine.
• mood/emotions:  im feeling pretty good although those around me might say ive been a little dramatic than usual.  
• energy level:  lower than usual 
• belly button:  none.  ok, so something is there but its flattened out to almost nothing. 
• stretch marks:  no
• swelling:  some
• wedding rings:  i took off my rings this week finally.  i could have lasted a bit longer but there was no point in pushing it.  the last thing i want to do is have to get them cut off.  
• work days left: 8
• best news ever:  we found childcare!!!!!  this has been my biggest stress over the past 2 months and now i just get to be excited for the arrival of our sweet baby girl.  *whew*

wise wednesday

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etsy ecstasy: baby girl

here are a few swoon worthy things i found on etsy that would be perfect for "sister."  

*click on the pics to shop*

baby blanket - frolic in pink from organic quilt company

blue floral baby moccasins from blueberries for call

jersey knit baby headbands (set of three) from little highbury

organic cotton adventure leggings from alpine baby co. 

currently ...

Making:  a person
Cooking:  nothing much these days ... bowls of cereal
Drinking:  lots of water
Reading:  orange is the new black
Wanting:  coffee ice cream from trader joes
Looking:  at spreadsheets all week long
Playing:  my mumford and sons pandora station
Deciding:  how to arrange the collage wall in the nursery
Wishing:  it wasnt too hot for me to take walks or i had a treadmill
Enjoying: the summertime 
Waiting: patiently for our little girl to arrive
Liking: climbing into bed early and watching documentaries on netflix with husband
Wondering: if i enjoy blogging as much as i used to
Loving:  how well kitty klaus and omar are get along
Pondering:  our baby girls middle name.  we are working from a short list but trying to make a final decision soon. 
Considering:  going blonde but then i think that it might look awful or cost too much to maintain
Watching:  henry grow into this silly kid that knows his cheesy grin will get him out of trouble
Hoping:  to find a good childcare solution that we can afford
Marvelling:  at how quickly henry is picking up new words
Needing:  diapers, more time, coffee ... and maybe a nap
Smelling:  honey suckles reminds me of my childhood 
Wearing:  breezy maternity clothes that keep my cool on these humid 97 degree days
Following: a lot of pregnant yogis on instagram
Noticing:  that im feeling a bit isolated from people i was once close with
Knowing:  that my husband is the bomb.com
Thinking:  there must be something im forgetting to do to prepare for sister.  
Feeling: round
Admiring: how patient husband is with me
Sorting:  out the details of childcare (who, what, where, how much, etc.)
Buying:  as little as possible this month 
Getting: tired of not being able to play on the floor with henry for very long
Bookmarking:  yoga poses/workouts i cannot do until after i am no longer pregnant
Disliking:  how much i procrastinate and then stress myself out
Opening:  a straw to put into a strawberry milkshake
Giggling: at how grossed out husband gets when henry spits out chewed up food he doesnt like
Feeling:  anxious, excited, nervous, blessed 

the idea for this list came from here

high five for insta-friday

linking up with lauren and jeanett today for high five for insta-friday.  

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ONE:  some good friends of ours threw a big 30th birthday bash last saturday night ... with a photo booth :)  husband and i had a great night out catching up with friends and enjoying feeling like grownups for a while.  

35 weeks 

TWO:  henry climbs on (and sometimes jumps off of) everything these days.  i love how much he likes to explore even though i feel the grey hairs sprouting. 

THREE:  i have been doing another yoga challenge on instagram this month.  its been nice to have some form of exercise to partake in each day and gently push myself.  there are quite a few pregnant women joining in on the challenge so the sense of community and encouragement is fun.  

35 week baby bump

FOUR:  henry is crazy about his daddy.  he waits for him at the storm door and squeals with delight when he gets home from work.  he loves to climb on his back and sit in his lap whenever possible.  i heart them both!  

FIVE:  i guess a meltdown isnt one of my top favorite moments from the week.  its more about my growth as a mom and the patience im finding.  henry had an off night where he was just pitifully tired.  i put him in his highchair and he just cried because he was sad i wouldnt let him buckle himself in.  i knew better than to offer food in this condition because it would only end up on the floor.  so we sat there.  he, sobbing and me patiently waiting for him to notice me and let me distract him enough to transition into dinnertime.  

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

wise wednesday

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etsy ecstasy: vintage furniture

my usual etsy ecstasy posts include things that i could actually purchase ... but not today.  we are on a budget so why waste my time with things i can afford but cannot buy?  instead, lets just dream a little, shall we ... 

vintage locker basket unit with multicolored drawers from rehab vintage
i mean, how cool is this!!!  it would be great for a play room,
living room or on a large wall in the kitchen/breakfast nook.
check out the shop to find different sizes and color variations. 

knoll sofa charles pfister red herringbone from madsen modern vintage furniture
i love these old mid century sofas.  they are long enough to stretch out on and quite comfy. 

vintage hutch in orange/teal from city girl arts

another mid century sofa from dejavu decors

vintage navy campaign desk from at 1st sigt

pair of red vintage hollywood regency club chairs from uptown heirloom
are these just beautiful, especially against the rustic pallet wall!

*click on the pics to shop*

on being a girl

anyone that knows me well, knows i was never much of a girly girl.  my love for pedicures and my hate for spiders is about the extent of it.  i cannot relate to wanting to be a princess or dreaming of my wedding day ... as far as i can remember, i have always hated pink but loved climbing trees and making mud pies. 

when we found out henry was a boy i was relieved.  mostly i was relieved because it terrified me to have to teach a person, much less a girl, about how to deal with the world and now i get to do just that.  i get to talk with "sister" about what people will expect of her and what she should expect of herself.  i get to explain how to not care what others think while at the same time, taking pride in yourself ...oh, but dont be vain.  these things can be very difficult to navigate for anyone, especially a young girl.

im sure you have all seen the always commercial about "like a girl" being used a an insult.  i think its great that the media is grabbing onto these ideas and making people aware even though im not sure it can ever undo what the rest of the media puts out there.  that will have to be done at home.  i hope i remember how important it is to have these conversations when my children get old enough.  i want to explain to henry that he doesnt always have to suck it up and "be a man" and i want sister to know that "like a girl" is not an insult.  

high five for friday

its been a while since i linked up with lauren for a high five for friday post.  

here it goes ... five things that made this past week pretty great. 

ONE::  we took henry out to my aunts last weekend.  he was so interested in the boat, how the 4 wheeler and tractor worked and of course, the chickens.  he could not get enough.  being 34 weeks pregnant, i wasnt able to chase him around and do all the fun stuff but he and husband had a great time.  

TWO::  that face

THREE::  one of the main reasons for our visit was to spend time with my cousins that were in town.  their little guy turned one last week.  i loved watching the two little ones playing and climbing the tractor together.  

FOUR::  we have been watching the muppets movie quite a bit.  i loved this movie growing up and i am enjoying the lazy cuddle time its providing.  

FIVE::  6 years and 3 months ago we adopted Mailey... a cute little pit mix that turned into a crazy puppy. She ate a lot if my shoes an a large DVD collection. When I see her being a good big sister to Henry, Omar and Klaus it warms my heart. Her and I have grown so much in the past 6 years.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

on being forgetful

we forget so easily, dont we?  

sometimes i vow i will focus on the positive things in life and live each day to the fullest ... and then i cant find my keys and my whole day is ruined. 

sometimes i have zero money in the account when bills are due and unexpected checks show up in the mailbox ... and then i spend like that will always happen. 

sometimes i barely get through the hardest losses ... and then i take people for granted.  

i want to remember! 

wise wednesday

s

"sister"

this journey has been very similar and yet very different than it was with henry.  i expected we were having a boy because, like with henry, i didnt have any morning sickness.  i just assumed since my pregnancy was moving along in a similar way that i would be having another boy.  so we were pleasantly surprised to find out that we are having a girl.  then i braced myself for her "sucking the beauty" out of me.  but for the most part, i havent felt particularly unattractive (and if you think otherwise, keep that to yourself, please and thank you).  in fact, i feel very confident in my current condition.  when i was pregnant with henry i had no idea what to expect.  i did a lot of reading and research about what is/was going to happen and i ended up working up myself or anticipating things that never happened.  chasing around a 1 year old has kept me distracted but mostly i have been trying to take of myself and be confident that my body will do the rest.  we eat much healthier and cleaner than we did before henry was born and i have been doing some prenatal yoga this time around to keep myself a little more fit.  

30 weeks pregnant 
left: with henry in september 2012
right: with sister in june 2014

pregnancy update: 

• currently at 34 weeks = 8.5 months
• sister should be about the size of a cantaloupe, right around 4 3/4 points and 18 inches long.   
• movement:  she has been moving around a little less this week but i think she might be running out of room 
• food cravings:  nothing too bad.  i eat a lot of breakfast foods and i lean towards sweet.  we keep ice cream in the fridge and i eat a blueberry bagel (from the bakery at target) with loads of cream cheese every morning.  
• sleep:  i have been sleeping pretty good.  i wake up a few times a night to switch sides but i usually can make it through the night without a bathroom break.
• comfort:  i can tell my rib cage is expanding.  is it weird that i can feel the pressure? in the past week or two, i have just started needing to more assistance getting up and down.  playing with henry on the floor requires me to roll over and get on all fours before being able to stand up.  
• heartburn:  its there but nothing i cant handle
• mood/emotions:  i have been more stressed this week about figuring out childcare and a few other things but im pretty sure i would be the same amount of stressed even if i wasnt pregnant ... maybe a little more moody and dramatic.  
• energy level:  trying to keep this up.  i did an instagram yoga challenge in march and i started another one for july.  i hope this helps with my energy level.  i want to be walking but its too hot out to be doing that right now.  
• belly button:  in
• stretch marks:  no
• swelling:  just a bit starting this past week
• wedding rings:  still on for now.  (i had to take them off at 24 weeks with henry)

frequently asked questions/comments: 

1. was sister planned?  yes and no.  i mean, we did not sit down and decide to start trying and plan out how we could make it happen but i am very aware of how the birds and the bees work.  husband and i were feeling very nostalgic when henry turned a year old and we felt ready to have another baby in the house.  i am excited about them being so close in age.
2. 2 under 2 ... scary?  yes and no.  i expect the first six months to be a rather exhausting time of adjustment.  henry still needs a lot of direction and supervision but he is learning to be more helpful.  as scary as it can be, i am blessed with a very attentive, patient and awesome partner is this life.  i thank God every day for my husband!  
3. do we have a name picked out?  we have a first name but still deciding on a middle name.  i dont think we will share with anyone outside of our immediate family until she arrives. 
4. do we have the nursery ready?  we are preparing a shared nursery for the time being.  sister will sleep in the yellow crib that henry, myself and my brother slept in (see photo below).  for now henry is sleeping in another crib that was handed down from some friends.  i hope he continues to sleep in a crib for another 6 months or so.  the only things left to do in the nursery is find some coordinating sheets for them to tie the two spaces together and put up the collage wall.  
5. what does henry think of all this?  well, honestly, our little guy doesnt have a clue.  i try to tell him there is a baby inside my tummy.  sometimes he will even say "baby" and then he sees something shiny and couldnt care less.  i think he is going to be rather shocked when we bring sister home.  when we brought klaus (our new kitten) home a few weeks ago, henry was completely indifferent.  now, he cannot get enough of the cat.  although this usually involved him poking at his eye or pulling his tail.  needless to say, we will be watching him closely with his sister around :)

wise wednesday

s

things you should know

1. henry is 1 and a half years old!  can you even believe it?  it felt like just yesterday that i was posting pregnancy photos.  life with a toddler is the most awesome and exhausting thing ever.  our little guy is developing such a huge, amazing personality.  
   
2. speaking of pregnancy photos ... we are having another baby!!!  "sister" is due August 7th and we are super stoked.  
   
3. we have a cat now.  his name is klaus.  he is pretty much henry's favorite toy at the moment ... poor kitty!!! 
4. if you are wondering where i went, this post explains exactly why i havent been around these parts in a while.  

and that about sums up whats been going on these past 6 months.  i hope to post a bit more but im not making any promises :)  

happy july! 

oh, if you dont follow me on instagram, here is a photo dump of a few of my favorite moments you might have missed.